Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions - which comes first?

In this video, Daniela explains that we often don’t fully connect to the emotions we feel. She suggests noticing whether you feel agitated or content, and if agitated, how to trace it back to the thought or belief causing it.

Critical or judgmental thoughts often lead to tension. To better understand emotions, she advises paying close attention to complaints and criticisms, both of yourself and others.

Here are more specific teaching points she offers:

Using a resource like Byron Katie’s emotions PDF can help in identifying and naming emotions, increasing emotional intelligence, and improving self-awareness and communication in real-time.

Sensory Check-In: Pay attention to whether you're feeling tension or relaxation. Tension indicates agitation, which invites introspection.

Trace the Source: Identify the thought behind the emotion. Agitated feelings often stem from critical or judgmental thoughts about yourself or others.

Cultivate Emotional Intelligence: Regularly name your emotions with precision using Byron Katie's emotions PDF, which helps in pinpointing specific feelings and their roots.

Teach Through Example: Model emotional self-awareness for others by verbalizing your own process in real-time without lecturing.

Embrace Agitation: Agitation is an ally—it signals the need to pause, rewind, and explore the thoughts or beliefs causing stress.

Daily Practice: Perform a 7-day experiment where you observe your criticisms and judgments. This will help you see patterns in your emotional responses and their corresponding thoughts.

No Blame or Shame: Approach this process with neutrality.

Self-awareness isn’t about self-criticism; it’s about learning. These steps can significantly improve emotional regulation, self-understanding, and communication with others.